I am at the 20s something age. The age at which we introspect our parenting.Most of us have some unresolved conflicts with our parents. Some things we felt they really did wrong – and can’t get over.
It’s funny how we go great lengths to resolve fights with our friends and not much when it comes to the more important relationship with parents.
Making peace with your parenting is something you ought to do when you enter adulthood.
The sooner you are able to do it the better.
“Parent’s love is the most unconditional love in the world and you want to have it to the fullest.”
Basic parent psychology –
Parents basically care only for your health and happiness. Period.
Often it doesn’t “seem” to be so and is misunderstood.
So why does all this happen?
- Generation Gap – You grew up in a world totally different from theirs. You perceive the world differently. Your desires, aspirations, and needs are a lot different from theirs. This kills the relatability aspect and makes it hard for them to understand us.
- Them not knowing you – Parents might have no idea of who you really are. They might not have any idea of the experiences you went through or are going through.
- You not knowing them – You might have no idea of your parent’s life too. You had no idea of what they went through when you were growing up. They would have been unstable themselves and thus the feeling of wrong doing. Bring them down from the height of parent to just a person or a friend you love and understand. The quote from Dear Zindagi explains this beautifully –
- Your parent’s parenting – Your parents have parents whose parenting must have gone wrong. They have their own baggage. This reflects in their behavior and thus their parenting.
- Lack of knowledge – Sometimes parents must have acted with good intentions, but in the wrong way. Let’s face it – a huge job such as parenting is not taught anywhere. Blame it on the system or society. And most of them, become parents when they are too young and are immature themselves.
- Societal Pressure – We all have this innate pressure to look good in society and to gain its acceptance. Much of their actions that you felt was wrong, might have been due to this.
What can you do to fix this?
Communicate – Understand – Connect.
Have conversations to understand each other and not arguments to win. See things through their shoes. Look at how you can make them understand more.
When this is done there is nothing stopping them from seeing your happiness. You can convince them of anything you really want and can get them on board for all of your life decisions.
Check out – How to make decisions in life .
This is a bond that is biologically natural, and when done right will be stronger than any of your friendships.
Parents can become your biggest pillars of support in your life.
Fix things up today. Resolve your conflicts today. Don’t ruin this beautiful relationship. Be smart and have a better life.
To parents, if any of you are reading this article. The same reverse logic applies to you too. Kids don’t want to purposefully hurt you or not love you. It all comes from misunderstanding.